Pink Monster Spray

We have the misfortune to live in a multistorey house, which, with children brings the joy of stairs and their unfathomable allure to kamikaze toddlers. We've solved this with complicated gates that are meant to be childproof but which the inimitable Elfling cracked in about 3 hours. Multistorey in our house also means that the bathroom is on a different level to the living area. While this has been merely annoying for years, it's probably kept us fit with the stair runs as you head up and down to go to the bathroom, wash hands, transfer laundry etc etc. It was merely one of those minor inconveniences, but not a serious deal.

That was until the ELfling toilet trained and someone else needed the toilet. For a few months it was fine, she'd run up (albeit many times leaving it that little bit too late) and most of the time it was No. Big. Deal. But that was until the monsters moved into our house with their sharp claws, tendency to hide in shadows and their spooky noises that only she can hear. She absolutely refuses to go there (or anywhere really) without someone else. If she cannot see us for some reason (like I close the door to go to the bathroom) then the hysterics are incredible. Yesterday these screams were punctuated with "Mummy I have tears rolling down my face" as her imagination reduced her into a puddle of fear.

If she was still the only baby this wouldn't be a big deal, but with a little sister, sometimes I will be changing her nappy, or hanging out washing while supervising her, and I can't alawys just drop and run. If I am breastfeeding during the day it's even worse as I can't just heft up the squirmy Monkey these days unless I'm feeding in the sling (not often). And 3 year old bladders can't wait (which I will remember every time I walk into Spotlight).

We've tried giving her a torch, "special" brave toys, etc but none have worked. So yesterday, after a meltdown of Ukrainian proportions I went to Coles on a special mission to buy the ingredients for a monster deterrant. And pink monster spray was born. According to me, the spray makes monsters disappear or turn friendly. According to the Elfling it is for spraying in the monsters eyes so it stings and then she will kill them. Befriending them or smiting them I don't really care at the moment, so long as I don't have to deal with a hysterical scream every ten minutes and tremulous whispers of monsters coming to get her. I just hope I don't become allergic to lavender as the house smells like a giant jar of pot pourri.