Bleeding

Normally when I am about to heamorrhage I have some warning. A spell of downness, an attack of the Phil, something that signals a warning beacon that I'd better get a group and hold just in case I need to be transfused.

Last night though I was blindsided when a huge gash appeared. I wasn't expecting it, wasn't prepared for it, and the sting of it brought me to my knees. So I did what I always do when I'm scalded and I retreated into my cave and stuck up my big icy walls so that I could recover and work out what the hell had just happened.

Usually when those walls are up, people see me and they hastily beat a path in the opposite direction. They wait until I come out into the sunshine and generally give me a pretty wide berth. So this morning, hiding there, in that cold damp darkness, I was basicly just getting reaquainted with my cave, feeling safe, even though it was chilly, because no one ever comes into my cave.

Except this afternoon someone did. And I always assumed that when someone did manage to get through those ridiculous walls of mine that they would be gentle, that they would coax me out into the sunshine. Or at the very least that they would hunker down in the darkness with me and just let me know without pushing me that they were waiting.

Instead what happened is that the walls were breached and then I was pinned against the back wall of my cave. The cold wet stone pushing into my back. And I could not move. I was trapped in the only place that I'm allowed to hide in and I could barely breathe. I panicked and tried to fight my way out, hoping that the intruder to my previously pristine cave would let me escape. But instead I was slashed from head to toe. Until finally, with a scornful glance and a spit in my general direction, I was left bleeding in the corner of my cave.

I need stronger walls.