Zenn

Aside from the deathflu of last week I’ve been back at the gym lately. As in: actually planning to go and happy when I’m there, which marks a significant change from a month ago where I dragged myself in, had a crap time while I was there and went home despondent and feeling like consoling myself with a kilo of chocolate. I understand how people get really fat I assure you – because it’s lovely and comforting to eat (so long as you’re not near a mirror).

But I’ve been going semi regularly again and enjoying the burn. I’m not doing anything inspired at the moment, mostly just working on the cardio fitness because that’s the area that I lack in the most, and also because it has the side benefit of being one of the fastest ways to lose weight. I’ve snapped out of denial again and realised that while I may be within the acceptable BMI range for my height, it is not “normal” or healthy to be carrying as much fat as I’m carrying, and much as I would love to be all Rubenesque about it, the truth is it makes me feel unhealthy even without considering the aesthetics.

The miraculous thing is how quickly my body responds to exercise – further confirming to me how much I need to do it. Although there is a substantial enough layer of insulation at the moment, you can see how exercise is shaping and toning the underneath into a much nicer figure. To put it indelicately, my arse is higher, my waist is better defined and my collarbones are framing my torso better. And even without that I’m feeling stronger. It actually gives me a rush to be able to run on the treadmill and not feel like a gallumphing elephant, or to finish the cross country program on the bikes with my thighs burning and still make it to the finish line.

One of the big shifts for me has been feeling less stressed as well. Obviously this has a lot to do with the fact that I’m not doing insane uni hours at the moment and have just come off a cruisy week of holidays but I’m feeling zen. I’ve been turning off the computer a lot more, facilitated in part by finally getting my EQ2 wizard to 80 (level cap w00t), but also the fact my house is marginally organised and that I’m just feeling good at the moment. I have phases where I withdraw a lot from LH while at the same time being quite needy (unsurprisingly coinciding with massive work stress) and it’s nice to be feeling unlike that at the moment.

Anyhow, in true Jennstyle this is rambling and long and all over the shop but in summary, I’ve been going to the gym, I’m happy, and life is good. Going to celebreate with a hot deep bath and Mr Darcy.

Oh and resolution whatever it was to throw out all my Size 14 clothing? On target – everything I buy now is Size 12. Just wanted to record that :)