Is flirting fun and lighthearted and a way to make you sparkle? Or is it evidence of poor self esteem and a need to be sexually validated?
The dictionary defines it as
flirt (flûrt) Pronunciation Key
v. flirt·ed, flirt·ing, flirts
v. intr.
To make playfully romantic or sexual overtures.
To deal playfully, triflingly, or superficially with: flirt with danger.
To move abruptly or jerkily.
v. tr.
To toss or flip suddenly.
To move quickly.
n.
One given to flirting.
An abrupt jerking movement.
Which makes the second sound factually correct. But I've always defined it as that spark, that *frisson* that occurs when you met someone of the race that knows Joseph. Someone who on meeting you instantly start making jokes with knowing that they're not going to fall flat. Someone who you can rib about their pool game and know that they're going to give as good as they're getting without it ever being nasty. So you have friendly banter as if you've known eachother your whole lives and have a hoarde of in jokes.
When I meet someone like that, male or female, I can't help from flirting with them. It's never bothered my husband, so I've never really tried though - I see it as one of the best things in life, one of those things that sparks you up and gives the rest of the day a glow because you've made a friend had fun with an old one. The reason I ask in the first place though is because I am a member of several forums, most of which are female dominated who take a majority view that flirting is disrespectful and damaging to a relationship. I could sort of understand if the point was to convey availability, in a sexual or relationship sense... but if it's just the language of friends maybe not. And is it open to misinterpretation by the flirtee?
Would be interested to hear thoughts.
5 comments:
I reckon the types of interactions you are describing fall in the category of playful friendly banter. (As you say.) Except for the "in jokes" which may be perceived as a means to exclude others.
I wouldn't classify what you describe as flirting unless while you are teasing him about his crappy pool game you are making doe eyes at him, or while you are laughing at his joke you are also touching his leg.
I don't consider myself a flirt AT ALL! But I enjoy the company of guys and have a good laugh. My partner is ALWAYS playful and loves to entertain both girls and guys.
I have never found the need to come across as sexy to anyone but my man.
I'd give anyone who "flirted" (in my sense of the word) with my man a good bitch-slappin!
I personally think that relationships with people are all different - some respond better than others to different things.
Four of us get along extremely well. I mean, not wife swapping well, but it's a laugh, it's fun and yeah, there might even be a teensy bit of flirting done from all concerned. But, at the end of the day, that's all it is.
I don't believe flirting is cheating - but I do believe that there is a line that can be crossed in the same regard.
I don't know that I'd be bitch slappin kisses - but if the flirting fell over *that* line and G didn't put a stop to it - THEN maybe I'd be having a few issues.
But no, I personally think flirting is mostly harmless and fun, and to a degree, everyone does it.
I flirt with white goods and have never been accused of being unfaithful!
Flirting is natural, healthy and a joy. Common sense lets you know when you've over stepped the mark.
Flirting is fine as long as there isn't excessive alcohol involved! I love to flirt and be flirted with - it's completely harmless as anyone who I'd flirt with knows I'm as faithful as...something really, really faithful LOL!
I was watching a male friend flirt with an ex-lover of his on the weekend and it made me cringe. Why? Because they were both rip-roaring drunk and wouldn't have acted in the same way if their respective partners were there.
I think that's the key. Flirting is fine as long as you're not doing anything to be ashamed of.
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