It's early afternoon here on an absolutely glorious day and I'm sipping cold water while watching a mostly naked Monkey watch Playschool upside down on the Wiggles couch. I was coming home early today in any case, but we got the now very familiar phone call to pick up The Monkey who has yet another unidetified fever. No gastro, no URTI, no UTI symptoms (though they're hard to tell in a baby), no CNS symptoms aside from a bit of irritability and lability... it's been hanging around for about 2 weeks and randomly spikes up to 39 degrees leaving her floppy and lethargic. So she's stripped off drinking iced cordial in front of the fan. I hate it when she's sick, but I'm glad that at least I'm good at making her feel better. It's somehow much easier to be a good Mum when she's ill.
For my own part I'm glad to have a "real" excuse to be home. Last night a few friends and I went out to dinner at a cute little French inspired bistro. And I celebrated a night off by drinking far too much vodka (oh how I love thee...), flirting and enjoying listening to live music. Got home before midnight cinderella-style without leaving my glass slippers anywhere (kind of hard to lose high heeled knee high boots) and crashed out until 5am when the Monkey and then Elfling decided to start the day. Waking up completely ataxic is very interesting when you have kids. Very glad that LH was the one scheduled to drive them to daycare this morning.
Luckily I did/do not feel hungover at all, and I'm not even feeling seedy now, so obviously I am getting better at knowing my new "old person" limits. Bit tired though, hence the happy to be home thing. Plus it's just too glorious an afternoon to be spent trying to think and sound smart.
I really really loved last night, not because of the (exorbitantly expensive) alcohol, but just to be out and doing something out of the ordinary. Having a laugh and a gossip with people that I enjoy being around and haven't seen in quite a while; basically just being Jenn and not someone's wife, someone's mother. I love being both of those things, but I love just being Jenn more. Jenn who is also a wife and mother. It seems really difficult for people to understand that sometimes. That you don't lose your identity when you slip on a ring or grow a placenta.
Tutorials today were interesting and relevant, in particular one from a child and adolescent psychologist. Basically talking about the role of parenting and genetics in personality and behaviour disorders in children. There is so much work and responsibility in parenting and an absolute need to get it right. We looked at case studies, and about the fact that you can pick the kids that are going to be socially stunted and become delinquents - because the signs start well before primary school. As one of the few people in the course who does have children, it was both reinforcing and slightly difficult to listen to the effects of inadequate parenting.
One of the major issues discussed was defiance in children, and how it needs to be managed, not only for the sanity of the parents, but because for a child to become a functioning accepted member of society, they need to have guidelines. There are so many unwritten laws to having friendships/jobs/peers etc that need to be taught. It's not innate to wait your turn and to have empathy in most people. It's something you learn, and for some kids these abstract social constructs are just so much more difficult when combined with an aggressive genetic predisposition and an unstable, apathetic home environment.
Psychology is really a fascinating area and I wonder if maybe it could be a Masters degree for me once I finish training as a surgeon or physician or whatever I end up doing. With regards to the childhood behaviour and development however, what makes me most curious is not so much the children who are set up to fail, but those who receive all the negatives and somehow bring themselves above it. What is it that makes some kids have truly horrible shiteous parenting and become intelligent, caring, empathetic, compassionate people who raise beautiful loving families? I think sometimes we focus so much on what makes people fail, instead of trying to work out what it is that makes them succeed.
Oh and PS I bought new clothes during the week. All Size 12. Country Road Size 12, but nothing Size 14 fits any more. I am inordinately pleased.
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