Things that make me cry

The medication I am on means I can't breastfeed which means the Monkey and I are involuntarily weaning. Every morning she cries to curl up in bed with me for our special cuddles and I have to pass her to the LH while I leak milk and cry.

Because I am so sick I will miss at least a week of uni. This is threatening my ability to pass this rotation (compulsory 100% attendance) and I may not be allowed to graduate in December.

I am taking the maximum amount of panadeine forte to stop the pain and am barely lucid for 4 hours a day.

I ate my first solid food today and can feel it swirling there. My head aches and I cannot have any more tablets.

The Elfling had a nightmare last night and I had to try and keep away from her because I am so terrified of making her ill.

The lovely husband cannot cuddle me in bed because my fevers that make sweat pour off me make me too hot for comfort. He also cannot get ill because he's holding us all together. He's so worriedabout me and about the girls and me graduating. I'm trying to pretend that I'm better for him but he sees it in my eyes.

On Tuesday when I was lying in bed having fluids pour into me being too still and too pale he was so scared. I was so wrapped up in myself I didn't even realise and now I am trying to be strong for him. He made me chicken soup to eat, and has not complained once about the burden on him. This too makes me cry.