Monday, 3 November 2008

Out damned spot

If you had worn your seatbelt then I would never have met you.

If you had worn your seatbelt then I would not know your name and would not know that you were younger than me.

If you had worn your seatbelt I would not have watched you come silently in, kept alive by wires and tubes in every place they could frantically achieve access.

If you had worn your seatbelt your hair would not have streamed out behind you, crimson red in the cascade of blood that ran in rivulets to the floor.

If you had worn your seatbelt I would not still have the ferric smell of the 6 units of blood that we futilely poured into you as it even more quickly poured onto the bed and floor embedded in my nose.

If you had worn your seatbelt that same blood would not have splashed over those who tried in vain to keep your heart beating, the sweat dripping off them as they pumped your heart.

If you had worn your seatbelt that same blood would not have splashed on me.

If you had worn your seatbelt I would not have sat in the bottom of the shower and cried at the expression on your spouse's face that I will never forget.

I tried being angry at you, but that's futile too. To everyone else, wear your fucking seatbelt. Please.

6 comments:

hissychick said...

Oh Jenn....

Melissa said...

I have no idea what to say. I've deleted my last 3 attempts

I'm sorry.

Donna said...

Oh honey that must be one part of the job that truly sucks. It is so unfair. What a huge and preventable loss.

I agree, everybody, wear your seatbelts!

Cylie said...

:(

Shel said...

Big hugs darling Jenn. You are here for a reason. Don't get disheartened and do NOT harden that heart of yours.

Nina said...

Heartbreaking :(

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