Yesterday afternoon I woke up from an afternoon nap to find the golden sunset on my skin and rain on my face. The rain was coming in through the window and the sun was setting under the clouds making the world golden and clean and new. I ran out into it, got drenched, watched my hair curl wildly, tasted cool clean water running into my mouth. Marvelled at how bright and gilded was my skin as goosebumps were raised from the cold water.
It was a change, it was washing away the tiredness and reminding me physically, that there are so many reasons to be alive. I didn't dread bedtime, I didn't wait up for him, expecting his squawk as soon as my head hit the pillow. I decided to just take it however it went.
And he slept. 7:30pm until 3:00am, he fell back asleep after his feed/drowning. He woke up at about 5:30am.
I am renewed. And buxom. But that bit I can live with.