Still here. Still breathing.
Today's distraction involved shopping for clothes. Bingley needed jeans without ventilation holes and I needed to feel like a 28 year old instead of my mother. Luckily for my magpie like inability to ignore sparkly things this season is apparently all about sequins and glitter. I was in an odd mood and tried on everything, letting Bingley select clothes for me that I'd never try myself and parading them all out for the department store to gawk at.
I learned a few things.
1. No matter how hard I find it to believe, I am not a size 14-16, and all "large" sizes will be too big. I am actually a Size 12. Unless there are buttons across the bust involved.
2. Even if it seems contrary, something that is too big will not make me look smaller. It will make me look lumpy and paradoxically larger, not cute and petite.
3. Horizontal stripes are not all bad.
4. Even if my legs are disproportionately short for my frame, and even if they're not willowy and long, but instead curvy and strong, the fact that they are currently cellulite free means that they kind of look ok in tights and ridiculously short dresses.
Especially if I wear them with boots.
5. Bingley doesn't understand sequins.
6. It is impossible to go shopping with the goal being to buy a cropped black cardigan and expect to find one. I do however now have 3 new mini skirts and a charcoal blazer.
7. I actually love ruched sleeves.
8. I have to find somewhere to wear a cream and navy horizontally striped knit mini dress with gold buttons and ruched sleeves.
9. Most of the jeans "in" this season are artificially ripped. Bingley found it hilarious.
I can't do heavy today. I was glad for the superficial distraction. I had unsettling dreams again last night. Trekking around Europe experiencing beautiful things and then waking in the half light disorientated and trying to work out where I was. But on the strength of those dreams I bought a dress today just because it reminded me of the French Riviera.