Sunday, 17 October 2010
After the disastrous birthday the weekend was actually lovely. Today we went for a drive to have lunch with Mum and Dad and to pick up their old car. So lucky me now has wheels again. We had a brief period about 5 years ago where I had just got my license and we had 2 cars and I loved it. I had never understood the attachment people had to cars and driving before that, but even though my 12 year old Sally car corolla was falling apart at the aesthetic seams I adored her.
It meant that I always had an escape. As long as I had petrol in the tank if I needed to find trees I always could. I could drive to water, or the river or to the mountains. I didn't often just disappear, but the tiems that I did were so blissful. I would have a day off uni and be in desperate need of some soul food, climbing to the top of a mountain and gulping down lungfulls of nourishing air.
Then Bingley sold it, and I was desolate. He was right in that we didn't need it, and that we couldn't really afford to run two cars, but I missed it so much. I missed that knowledge that any time I could just pick up and fly away if I so chose.
But we've done fine for the last few years with just the one car. We've worked with military precision to determine school and work and daycare drop offs and pick ups. We are public transport afficionados and its' been a rare occasion when we've truly needed the second gas guzzler.
Then Dad called me one day out of the blue and asked if we'd like their old car. It's an older style truly bogan Commodore, AND it's an automatic, but I couldn't say no. I'm about to do a country tour of service and need my own vehicle and, well, who says no to a car? So today we picked it up, and as Bingley drove regular Lightning home I popped a CD into the Commodore and set off, feeling again that tickle of emancipation as we set off.
I decided halfway home that the freedom warranted something impulsive and the tourist drive through the mountains instead of the new freeway home seemed perfect. With the Monkey in the back seat we climbed high above the burgeoning Lake Wivenhoe and gaped at plains flooded with water. We weaved in and out of sparse temperate forest, scrubby trees and grass trees until the air got cooler and smelled of damp.
Trees taller and straighter, hung with vines and singing with birds. Dark mysterious greens and birds flitting through the hallway formed by the road and the dappled light that streaked through. I felt my lungs expand, not having noticed how compressed I'd been as I listened to Satellite Party. I breathed as I have not truly breathed for months, the joy of possibility warming my soul. We wound past litle coffee shops with Devonshire teas and I loved that I could stop at any one of these.
I pulled into a lookout and climbed the boardwalk with the Monkey, my heart jumping at the vista of mountains, trees, valleys, water, sunset in front of us. I felt all the air stream out of me then and fly into the air around us before I sucked it all back into my soul.
We climbed back into the car and the smell of the homegrown roses that Mum had picked from my rose at home had permeated the car and I felt myself tear up at the loveliness. Driving down the mountain feeling misty and reminiscing as we drove into the driveway, feeling sated, full.
I have another huge week ahead of me and I needed today. Needed to inhale roses and mountain air and see majestic trees. It refuelled me.