Wednesday, 4 January 2012

Gone fission

It is a beautiful Summer afternoon and the sky is such a uniform unearthly shade of blue that it does not look real. There is a beautiful breeze rustling the trees and my Michael Kors ensconced feet are up on the verandah railing as I sit back and watch the world go by.

Work is very very quiet this week, to the extent that I have no patients at all, so my time is mostly spent trying to wrap my head around the mind fuckery that is quantum physics. It requires such logic and straight mathematical principles, and then requires you to suspend that logic and use abstract imagery which is then re-incorporated into those structured mathematical principles. Once upon a time I thrived on it, the idea of logical magic. Ordered chaos. Fractal dreams. But now that I am studying it in earnest, my brain often hurts.

Today after successfully expanding the edges of my brain with positron annihilation (one of the coolest named concepts in science) I tried to integrate the exponential coefficient to determine the scatter or something or other and the particular neurons that were lying in post-orgasmic annihilation bliss rolled over and started snoring. So I did the only sensible thing really and drove to little Italy and ordered an apple gelato. And a piece of pistachio cheesecake. And sat in the window of a little slice of Italy while the cricket was broadcast under the Eiffel Tower and savoured every last bite.

One of the things I miss most about Paris, and Bangkok for that matter (still haven't written that post yet) is the ability to find somewhere to sit and eat and reflect on every single street. There is so much scope for wandering and so little for cars or other mindless transport. There is such social pleasure in isolating oneself at a teensy table that rocks precariously and to sit there all alone and watch the world go by from behind the shelter of an enormous pair of tortoise shell sunglasses.

I love that meal times are so sacred in Europe that it's expected that a good proportion of students will go home from school to eat with their family, all around the table. Though half of my family are screaming at present after the game of bouncing each other on the hammock (which was prohibited less than 2 minutes before) resulted in the inevitable de-hammocking face first while the other one is coming to grips with "uneez" in the tiniest underpants ever invented.

It's not quite dark enough yet for the birds to be singing, the trees are still drenched with sun even as the moon presides brightly in blue. Bingley and I are busy being entertained and awed by the Possum doing a 24 piece interlocking puzzle without assistance. He is quite proud of himself also.

The scrub turkeys are making a nest in our front garden and they are becoming as tame as the possums that take food from our hands. They make such a mess and are such ugly birds, but I love living things being around me so much that I don't care.

The solar detector for my tree lights is full in the last rays of sunlight so that the second dusk falls there will be twinkling stars just out of reach to wish on even if the clouds come cover the ones in the sky. And with my physics book on my lap I can even explain to you why the stars glow as brightly as they do, right down to the little quarks at their centre. And even if it hurts my head, I'm glad that I'm learning this. Answers to questions I never thought to ask. Fizzpops of knowledge snapping away through my neurons like sherbert. Fusion on a tiny scale.

**Edited to note that I finally posted Part One of Bangkok**

1 comment:

Melissa said...

Physics terrifies me. Seriously, I could never wrap my head around it. I loved biology/anatomy etc. Tolerated chemistry. But physics? Even just the basics. OMG. My brain just refuses to accept it the way it has still refused to accept long division. I think back to school physics and I feel the burning red of my face as I'm humiliated all over again - at a subject I could.not.master. Nothing todo with not trying (as my teachers assumed, as I could master the rest).

You amaze me.

And is the Possum seriously old enough to be in 'unees'????? Say it aint so?


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