Tuesday, 26 May 2009
Bag has a few things in it...
... but it's still not packed fully. Yet. I will do it. At some stage. Not due til Monday, heaps of time.
I have been nesting. I never had this before really but I feel the urge to do things like rearrange furniture and move the washing machine from level 3 to level 1. On my own.
Physically I am very tired, I was cleaning all day yesterday and getting frustrated because I would get contractions and feel tired and sore and have to stop, even though I was only doing things like scrubbing the microwave or putting clothes in the dryer. Our kitchen is surface clean though and this makes me pleased. I haven't mopped yet.
The Monkey is loving helping me tidy up. I think she just loves being home with me as it makes her happy. She is cheeky and funny and clever. She has been running around today throwing and catching a balloon - never once dropping the catch. The Elfling is still not always able to do this, so it's strange to see one so coordinated (comes from my side obviously!). She is also incredibly chatty, and has a sense of humour. Her hair is a mess of Shirley Temple ringlets and on calling her curlylocks the other day she grinned and said "I'm not Curlylocks, I'm the 3 bears RAHHHH". She loves books and is not passive like the Elfling, laughing at parts and beign sad at others, I love this and it makes reading to her a joy.
The Elfling is finding it hard to deal with the Monkey being allowed to be home while she has to go to school. She enjoys school, but thinks it's manifestly unfair that the Monkey has me all to herself for several hours a day. For my socialite butterfly of a daughter this has been hard to cope with. I am not used to sadness and reluctance to go play with her friends.
She is obsessed with writing at the moment, long streams of letters that sometimes form words but more often not. She is enjoying prep, but PE is her favourite class as is any time when she can just play with her friends. She is athletic and graceful and long like a gazelle. Her ballet classes have been fantastic and I watch her through the one way mirror at classes with a certain feeling of misplaced pride at her grace. Some of the children have been doing classes much longer than her, but in the length and the natural flowing way she moves her arms and legs she looks born to it. Her back ramrod straight, her slender body perfect in the frothiness of pink ballet costume, she has an unearthly quality that comes from within.
I love them both so fiercely at the moment. I am loath to upset the balance and yet the Possum will be born. Everything is so nice at the moment, so settled, so rewarding. I sleep and look after my babies and cook and nest like a mother bird. I'm so terrified of moving from this beautiful indolence to newborn land, I need him here for it to be real.