Weddings

If my Nana knew today, that Prince William had proposed to Kate Middleton, then she would be waiting for the commemorative New Idea edition so that she could keep the special portrait of the two of them. And even though she normally went to bed at 7:30pm I can guarantee that when they televised the wedding that she would be waiting up with a hankie to watch the coach pull up and for that long walk down the aisle. And then collect the Women's Weekly gold edition, snip out the official portrait and put it in a frame.

She loved the royal family, and weddings in particular. It still stings a bit that she couldn't come to mine as she was too unwell. I know she would have loved it. She loved the traditional aspect, she loved the idea of weddings and watched every Home and Away/Neighbours/TV wedding event. I think it was the hope, and the happiness mixed in with the frou frou details that appealed to her. I think it reminded her of the courtship days of her own relationship, before the horrible years, and then the comfortable happy years.

I wonder if it's hereditary then that I love it too. I love weddings, I love the idea of people being married. I always have. I love the hope and the love involved. I love the concept of forever. Of good times and bad. Of knowing that even if there will be times where there's work, that there is a bond that will always be there. I love seeing love. I love meeting couples at work that have been married longer than I've been alive. I love that love that has matured into gentleness and warmth.

I sometimes despair because I miss the heady stage of a relationship. I feel far too young to be in the comfortable stage. And yet I crave it too. I need that stability, that warmth and that simple feeling of knowing that to someone you mean the world. And not only that, but that that person feels, as do you, that they always will.

The romantic in me loves that concept, and I know in my heart that I could never be with someone who couldn't believe in forever. I would always feel that clutch of fear, in wondering when they would be tired of me, and that I would be too much work to consider continuing.I guess it's also the idea for me that if they don't believe in forever they are only ever waiting for something better to come along - and I only ever want to love someone who will never love anyone more. It may be a fanciful concept, and in today's era of divorce and transience, old fashioned and worthy of scorn from some.

And of course I love that weddings are that symbol of putting it out there that you have met your match - that you will never love someone more. And while I love sparkly diamonds and beautiful dresses, what means most to me is that faith, that while shaken will not be destroyed. That creating something with someone is worth more than all the silly arguments and tired grumbling. And that, importantly, they feel the same.