Wistful

I love the way that the road out the front of the hospital curves away. No grid pattern streets here, instead a meandering country road that diverts for no apparent reason disappearing into the horizon. I stood watching it this afternoon, the wind whipping my face and making me shiver as it streaked across the wide open plains. I gulped it in, all that beautiful fresh country air smelling of honey and dust and grass and something wild and sweet. My hair getting in my eyes as I hungrily ate up the glorious sunset and the Summer bright hues where the sky meets the trees.

Today was busy, but steady busy, not hectic. I drove in this afternoon to watch the sheep grazing together and felt content instead of a spike of adrenaline. Stuffed a chocolate biscuit or 5 into my mouth and headed off for the hospital to do my evening rounds. I wore stilettos today. Sensible (if a stiletto heel can ever be sensible), black, shiny, plain shoes with a stiletto heel that made me feel happy with every clickclacky step.

Lots of variety today, some silly funny moments and some horrific ones. I miss my family so much, but in a very abstract way. It's not as visceral as I would have thought, I know they're well and looking after each other, and it's OK that I'm not there because I can give them a call and know that they're doing just fine. More a wistful sort of way. In that way I was a little homesick when I first went away to college.